What it’s like to be an expat

It’s amazing: because of the all the new exciting things to do and learn, and to grow as a person. At the same time it’s also not so great… culture shock, disorientation, homesickness. After all it’s just life, but away from home, and for everyone it’s different. I’m from Poland, and here is my experience of living in New Zealand and Japan.

Everyday tasks become an adventure

At the beginning everything is new and exciting, but can also be intimidating. Many places generally function in the same way, you have streets, public transport, cars, banks, post offices, shops to buy food etc. However the specifics can be very different, the way the traffic works, how to pay for public transport, where to buy medicines. Also, products you’re accustomed using may come in different forms, or not even be there.

All of this became considerably easier since the ubiquitous Internet access, but you still have to look things up or ask questions. All of those no-brainer things are suddenly a kind of a challenge. This makes your first several months of being an expat an adventure. For the good and for the bad.

For good, because it’s exciting. Hell, even going to local supermarket in a new country is a thrill for the first ten-ish times, and if you want to try every single thing then probably for a lot longer than that. Moreover, since every country is at least a bit different, you would probably like some (or many) things about the new country you reside in then about your home country.

For the bad, because dealing with unexpected situations is harder. You know… like getting sick with something worse than a cold or having an accident, or even worse… having to file the tax return…  Fortunately, you can prepare for some of those things (insurance) and I think people are generally a bit more helpful and understanding towards foreigners. I mean, you just got here, so most people won’t expect you to know every single rule.

It’s all about the food

Well, maybe not all, but the ability to taste new dishes and experience regional cuisine is one of the biggest things I personally love about being an expat, or actually about travel in general. Actually moving to another country however, especially far away, gives you more time and more opportunity to experience new foods.

For us, being from Poland, was actually not that easy to get impressed with local cuisine when we moved to New Zealand. Delicious Polish cuisine with hundreds of years of tradition, and influences from and across Europe and Asia is hard to beat. However, after some time, we have indeed discovered some truly amazing things, like mouth-watering Indian curries or South-East Asian Laksas, not forgetting to mention some great burgers, scones, pies and of course the finest fish and chips.

Moving to Tokyo, Japan was a totally different experience, as it basically opened the floodgates of divine food experiences that after several months here don’t seem to slow down even a bit. So many options. I still feel like just licking the tip of an iceberg. If I had to choose my favorite types of Japanese food however, I would probably pick Ramen and Sushi.

You grow (up) a bit

I think that moving to another country is huge for personal growth. Becoming an expat will surely broaden your perspective.

Each of us growing up in the same country, share common history, worldview, social norms and go through same education system. Over the years we hone our social skills and learn how to operate within social structures.

However, many of those structures and norms change when you move to a different country. When you do that, you’re literally taken out of the context, out of your familiar environment and somehow tossed into a new world. This new world is still people’s world, but the social norms of everyday life, culture, customs can be very different. Figuring them out by yourself makes you a more independent person. Especially when you have to deal with unexpected situations by yourself in the new country, without close friends and family around to give a helping hand.

You not only grow a bit stronger, but also became much more self-aware. You learn how much of you is just you, and how much comes from your upbringing and socialising. I haven’t had much of an experience interacting with other cultures or ethnicities when I was growing up. And when I eventually did, after moving abroad, I realized that some parts of my personality are more or less me being Polish rather than me just being me. Nothing wrong with that at all, but I believe this was a very interesting observation that helped me understand myself better.

There is a culture shock, or not…

Getting to know a lot about various cultures first hand after we moved to New Zealand was an important experience. For me personally, the biggest realisation was that countries in Europe are more similar to each other then I’ve previously thought, at least when compared to New Zealand. It’s feels like cultures stack on top of each other like some sort of layers… or doughnuts (if like me you like the idea of stacked doughnuts). For us, there was our hometown culture, our country Poland’s culture, and all the neighbour countries culture building up to so-called European culture.

As Poles, we feel that we are very different from other nationalities in Europe. But when we’ve moved from Europe to New Zealand, and also because of my job, working with people from many countries, I’ve noticed that we’re more similar to countries that are geographically closer, that we share history with. For me, it was noticeably easier to find a common language with people from Germany, Slovakia, Russia or UK then with Kiwis. We understood each other jokes better and it was generally quicker to form some kind of bond.

However, after living in New Zealand for several years, the difference in this cultural compatibility diminished to almost nonexistent. So maybe it wasn’t because of cultural differences as much. Maybe it was due to the fact that, we found it easier to connect with people with similar circumstances of being an expat, rather than locals, who generally have long-time friends from high school etc. and are less into hanging out with expats.

Moving to Japan was actually the least of a culture-shock for us. It’s true that a culture here is much more different than ours and that of New Zealand, which both are part of so-called Western culture. This time we were much better prepared though. Being interested in Japan for many many years now, we’ve both consumed a considerable amounts of Japanese pop-culture (mostly anime and drama), language learning materials, documentaries and books. We’ve also visited Japan a few times before moving to Tokyo. All that, helped a lot. Even if I couldn’t understand some things when interacting with people here, I was able to somehow see where they were coming from.

You meet interesting people

When being an expat you tend to meet and hang out with other expats, people like you, who left their home country to move to the same place you have. I think making friend with people from all over the world is a very exciting part of being an expat. You get to know more about their culture, their country and their reasons why they have moved.

Because we decided to leave Poland in the first place, we’ve lost contact with some of our friends, but we also got new friends. We now not only have friends from Poland, but also from the US, the UK, Brazil, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, Hong Kong, India, Slovakia and Germany.

You miss home

You gonna miss your family and friends, but also all familiar places, where you were used to go out, meet with friends, where you went to school, had a first kiss etc. It’s called being “homesick” and it’s a real deal. I don’t usually feel homesick, but there are times when it’s really hard to be so far away, especially when something wrong happens in your home country, like someone gets seriously ill or dies. Being so far away makes an already devastating situation even worse.

Going home feels like a party

If you’re going back home not too often, let’s say every few years, your arrival is somehow special and everyone is very happy to see you. People you know are generally keen to even change their plans just to meet with you. Your family is very happy to see you and your mum will cook all your favourite food.

Nothing beats the nostalgic feeling of visiting familiar places, eating your favourite local foods and exploring how the once very well known places have changed over the years. Intersections got redesigned, new building have been risen. It feels a little like traveling to the future.

It’s not all rainbows and butterflies though. Leaving people behind once again is not a pleasant feeling. You also realise at the end of you trip to “home” that there is no “home” anymore, at least not the one you have left moving out. Everything has changed; everything is different. But fear not, your “home” is in your heart forever as a deep, cherished memory.

So what it is like to become an expat? I think it’s similar to any other major change in your live. It is similar to finishing school, getting married, having kids, or getting a new job. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. If like me, you believe that who you are is a sum of your experiences, then moving to a different country is definitely a huge building block of your development. This block can be heavy to lift, but will make your structure grow taller and stronger.

What are your experiences of being an expat? Have you ever considered moving to a different country?