What it is like to not speak the language of the country you move to

Let me start with two questions: Do you remember when you were a child and you saw someone doing something super cool, something you have never seen done before, something you immediately felt the need to do too? Your eyes  widely opened, the time slowed down, and you were just standing there in awe, watching. That is exactly how I felt for the first year, every day, living in a country, I do not speak the language of. When was the last time you felt like that?

Exactly! As an adult we hardly ever experience something we do not comprehend. As a result we are deprived of mystical experiences for the most part, and we miss it.  A magic of living in a country which language you do not speak is, I imagine, something comparable with the thrill of a solo explorer going to a faraway land and meeting people from other tribes and cultures. These explorers had to be both curious and vulnerable. They decided to put themselves in a position of being different, lonely, retarded, lost, and utterly uncomfortable virtually ALL of the time. You get the overall picture. Saying plainly: It is hard, miserable and confusing for most of the time, but, unexpectedly, not impossible to enjoy. The adventure, growth and learning is almost guaranteed. But for the process to be also enjoyable, I think it is helpful to be prepared.

What can you expect when you move to a country while not speaking the language? There are a few things:

1. You feel uncomfortable most of the time, if not always

Not only you often do not understand the context, but additionally you do not have the capability to ask questions. How to deal with that? First, you have to accept that this a natural part of the process.  You have been able to communicate precisely with use of words almost all your life, so obviously you dropped most of the other methods. But there is no reason not to broaden your repertoire of communication methods to also use hand gestures, face expressions, body movement, acting, or even drawing. When you try to communicate with locals try to smile and laugh as these are universal. A smile goes a long way. Of course, you may also prepare some basic phrases for yourself which can at least get the conversation started.

2. You are forced to prioritize, organise and focus on what is the most important

The amount of problems to solve in a new country is infinite, so you quickly learn to focus on the most important ones, and the ones with a deadline or dire consequences. You just focus your whole energy on solving the problems, and keeping afloat. I do not actually think that there is anything bad about this part of the process. You mature and grow up quickly as your safety nets in the new country are scarce. Of course you could prepare many things before the move, which I would encourage (here is what you could consider in your preparation[ –  link to the previous post]), but expect unexpected too.  

3. Even small things take up a lot of time at the beginning

You have to be prepared to spend a lot of time to do simplest everyday things, like grocery shopping, paying a bill or figuring out how to get from place to place. Dealing with administrative offices is a pain in the neck in any country, so when you add the fact of not speaking the language to that, it can be long and excruciating half of a day experience. Is it a tremendous waste of time? Of course, but can be treated as an adventure too. Especially, that even in governmental offices there are some kind people who are willing to spend that extra time to help you. Enjoy the learning and all the discoveries along the way. You could try to organise yourself a local person to accompany you, which leads me straight to the next point.

4. You need to accept help from others and re-learn to ask for help

The more independent and responsible you were before moving to a new country, the more ‘out of practice’ at asking for help you may expect yourself to be. Learning to ask for help and being ok with accepting help is crucial for your success in the new environment. This gives you also an opportunity to return a favor in the future. What a great way to start of a friendship.

5. You are sometimes treated like a child

Because communication is an issue, people sometimes make decisions for you without even telling you. Whether it is to save you a trouble of understanding all the options and deciding, or to save the provider the hustle of explaining all the options to you. I think this one is super hard for adults. Being treated as helpless and confused is super uncomfortable, and yet almost unavoidable if you want to live in a country you do not speak the language of. But this experience can show you other perspectives on things, and allow to appreciate how much of our communication is actually in the culture, the way we are brought up and how society is organised. I do not think it is possible to truly appreciate all of these without leaving your own country for an extended period of time.

6. Everything feels new and sometimes overwhelming

As it should, this is a new beginning, after all. You have no idea how many things you have become accustomed to and are taking for granted. When you move to another country, in an instant, all of these are gone. This can be overwhelming, but also transforming. You are starting your life from scratch, use is as an opportunity to be the best version of yourself and have a life you really want. See our previous post on how to stay sane after moving to another country.

If you would ask me ten years ago if I move to a country I do not know the language of, I would definitely say: No! Are you crazy? And yet last year I did just that. Why? For the adventure, for the thrill of the unknown, for the discomfort of stepping outside of my comfort zone, and finally for that childhood-like magical experience of being in utter awe while experiencing something unimaginable for the first time… When was the last time you felt that?